Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
