So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
