my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
