There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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