I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
