it was like his penis was on wheels.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize