Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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