my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
