some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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