Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
