Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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