Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
