Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
