I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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