Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
