we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
