It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
