Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
