Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
