okay pat passed out under dana's car
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
