Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
