My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
