They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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