So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
