One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
