one two three fourrrrnication!
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
