The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
