This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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