its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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