I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
