I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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