Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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