Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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