The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize