I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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