I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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