Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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