problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
