Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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