You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
