I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
