On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize