I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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