You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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