i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
