i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
