we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize