Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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