i jhust puked up my retainher.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
