i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He? As in you personified your dick?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
