I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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