Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
