i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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