i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
