I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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