Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
