I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
