im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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