He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
