please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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